Victor was astonished, “Wow when?! Wait we are talking about a baby, another brother.”
Victor’s mom answered, “Yes of course and will born at July.”
Victor was really happy as his other brother, Roy. Both of them wanted another brother, instead of a sitter, because is better to play football, basketball or baseball instead of playing with dolls. The days passed and Victor and Roy were nervous and impatient. Both of them constantly asked her mother if she already know what was the sex of the baby, but her mother didn’t know.
Three months later, Victor’s mom sat down in front of Roy and Victor, she said “Maybe but your dad and I are not sure if the name of the baby will be Bernardo”.
Roy and Victor turn their faces to each other and scream at the same time “Another brother!! Yes!! Yes!!”
Victor said to her mom, “I knew it is a boy, since the beginning!!”
Roy and Victor hug her mom and give her a big kiss at her belly were the next brother was resting, suddenly he give a little kike. Roy and Victor got very happy.
Roy said, “I can’t wait until my brother born.” Victor added, “me too.”
They were very happy and during six months they hug, talk and kiss to the belly of her mother, were her little brother was located. The 16th of July of 2008 her little brother was born. They took care of him since they saw him and change his dippers, sang songs, saw movies with him and play many games with him.
I'd would like you to make it longer, other wise it looks so far so good!
ResponderEliminarAlso try to use more transitions
ResponderEliminarAnd more descriptive
ResponderEliminarThe text was great for me but I will like to be more descriptive and add text so could be great.
ResponderEliminarVictor- I think that this is an awesome post! Your use of dialogue is perfect and you did a great job using third person. You have some minor spelling mistakes and I think it would be good if you included a nice wrap up. Your conclusion is great, but maybe just reiterate the fact that your baby brother truly was a gift for your family.
ResponderEliminar